


Boyfriend Material

by kaeikon



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeikon/pseuds/kaeikon
Summary: What the girls of South Park feel about the relationship between Tweek and Craig, some of them think they should be elegible bachelors.





	Boyfriend Material

**Author's Note:**

> So English is not my mother lenguage so please understand that, nevertheless I promise I DID check it more than twice, cause i don't like grammar mistakes. 
> 
> I wrote this based on Ariana's song.
> 
> This is my first english fic AND my first creek fic, I mostly write for myself but it will be nice to know you liked it.  
> Thank you!  
> Каеи Кон

It was a warm evening, the last time the girls were all together was probably when Heidi decided to finally broke up with Cartman once and forever. They were chatting about the end of middle school and the adventure Highschool was going to be.

“We can finally find a suitable boy for once!” Red kind of shouted “since there are gonna be boys from other parts of Park county” her eyes were almost shining “yeah!” responded Wendy “that’s true, but I’m looking forward for the parties and the whole teenage experience, once we enter collage things are gonna be so different” “oh come on Wendy, that’s years away!” protested Jenny

“It’s been so boring with this south park boys lately, they are almost growing a beard and they still play -superheroes-“

“Ewwww beards are gross” “You know what else is gross?” asked Bebe with a bored expression and curling a ringlet of hair with her index finger “Craig and Tweek”

All the girls turned their head to the blond girl, some weirded for the comment and some surprised “Hey! That’s my cousin you’re talking ‘bout”

 “Sorry Red, but it’s true” sentenced Bebe and put her hand on her chin”

“You know, I don’t think you actually think that, I’ve seen you eat lunch with them AND your boyfriend all happy wappy” said Annie with a suspicious face, Bebe turned red ad stiff on her place “I can’t believe it Bebe, you like one of those?”

“No! Absolutely not!” yelled the blond in denial.

A series of giggles started around the place “Oh c’mon girls! You know I don’t, I like my Clyde”

“Ok, Ok, but in your favor I must say that I could’ve understand you”

“What do you mean Jenny?”

“Oh you know…” Jenny was suddenly pinked in the face, all the girls asked in silence for her to elaborate further “Oh, c’mon girls! Don’t you remember the list?”

 “What list?” asked Wendy.

“Oh, I know! She must be referring to that infamous list we made years ago ‘bout the boys, the one we put them in order of _cuteness_ ” a general “OHHH” sounded

“I remember now” perked Sally “the real one had Craig in first place, didn’t it? The one the _committee_ didn’t altered” some of the girls turned their heads in shame

“Oh yeah! And to be true, he’s aged delightfully, there was this time I had a date with Token, my parents dropped me at his house…” “Mansion” one of the girls chanted “Ok, _mansion_ and I suppose I was a little early, it seemed the boys had had a sleep over, I entered the kitchen and to my dismay there was a shirtless Craig drinking coffee with Tweek” “Woooooo” was the general clamor “Where did Token was?” “I had no idea, but the moment he entered the room he was so angry, he shouted at Craig ‘bout _have some decency_ and stamped a shirt on his face… Lemme tell you something girls, he is a _oh my god_ ” “Don’t let Token hear that!” That caused some of the girls have a loud laugh “Oh c’mon being with Token doesn’t mean I can’t see what I have in front of my eyes, and his’ are sooooooo blue”

“Have you ever seen him without his chullo?” other girl asked “I like his hair, whenever he’s on the football ground we can see it, he has a very nice haircut” “Oh, and those piercings? God, he looks so good” “He has three, doesn’t he?” “At least on the face, one on the earlobe, one on the brow and one on the lip who knows if he has more” “Tweek sure do” Another laugh mixed with some “ewws” sounds “Don’t forget he’s nicely tall and muscular” There was this unison long sigh

“Oh Jesus” exclaimed Bebe and stomped her head on the table “No! That’s not what I was talking about, you don’t know the half of it Nichole; he is just perfect _Boyfriend Material_ ”

 “What? Craig? No, you got to be kiddin’ me! He is so mean with everyone!”

 “Maybe he is mean with you ‘cause you’re his cousin, but lemme tell you he’s not with Tweek” “Just listen, a couple of months ago I was on a date with Clyde when his phone started ringing nonstop, I told him to answer since it could be his father and...

...

\- Yeah?

-Clyde? Why aren’t you picking up! We are at an emergency here!

-Token?

-Yes it’s me you idiot, don’t you have a caller id on your phone?

-Emm… I-I am busy! I’m with my girl! What do you want?

-Tweek and Craig got in a fight with some high school guys and we need you to come here.

-What? Why me? Take them to their houses or to the hospital or something!

-Hey don’t be an ass with your friends! You know if Craig’s folks know he was fighting, he will be grounded forever, c’mon bro I need you to help me carry them.-Where the fuck are you?

-Em…

-Well?

-Near the Raisins alley

-Raisins!

-Raisins! –shouted Bebe- You are so not going near that place

-No baby it’s not what you think ,wait –said the brunette covering the phone with his hand-

-Hey Donovan, are you still there?

-Yeah! Can’t you call someone else? You know Bebe don’t like me to go near Raisins

-The only other I could reach was Jimmy, but he can’t help me to carry Craig, Tweek can walk but he’s in no condition to help me with Craig.

-Where are we gonna take them?

-Take who to where? –asked the blond girl-

-Just wait a sec baby

-Tweek’s nearer

-Ugh, right, I’m on my way –and he hanged up-

Clyde explained the situation and both get up and left since Bebe didn’t trust Clyde to be near any Raisins girl.

...

Once they got to the alley, Bebe could appreciate the condition of the boys, Tweek was on the floor kneeled beside Craig.- the blond boy had a split lip a darkening eye and it seemed that blood was running down his nose, his shirt was ripped apart and his untamed hair was dirty and had some blood too. Craig was another story, he had an idem split lip, but his shirt was darkened and stiffed in a very big area, it didn’t take a genius to know that it was dried blood, probably from a head injury, mostly because a lot of stiff hair was sticking to one side of his head and some nasty red stain was all over his neck. He had a pained expression; also he was blinking weird, as if he was trying to focus properly, one of his hands was supporting his ribcage and the other was in Tweek’s. Also his jacket was ripped and his knuckles seem to be swollen and purple, one could think maybe he had broken one.

“OH-MY-GOD” shouted Clyde with almost tears on his eyes, “what happened?! He was bleeding so badly! He could have a concussion, or an important blood loss, he needs medical attention like immediately”

“Gah! Oh no! He’s gonna die! He’s gonna die, isn’t he? All this is my fucking fault” I knew this would happen! NGH!!! Oh Jesus! Oh God! I’m gonna be in jail for this, I can’t go to jail, that’s too much pressure!”

 “Tweek, Tweek, it’s ok honey, I’m not gonna die, I just… need an aspirin or something” said Craig while sending daggers to Clyde

 “Aspirin?! Are you insane?! That could kill you! Aspirin prevents the blood coagulation, You would need like a ton of brain studies just to see if you are not gonna develop an aneurism or something like that, Oh Lord, why I had to punch that asshole! I’m sorry, please, Craig, please don’t die”

 “Tweek, calm down babe, it’s ok, look I’m not gonna take any aspirin, just please stop shouting, Clyde do something and help me get out of the floor, you teary idiot” “Jimmy said he’s gonna meet us at Tweek’s house, he’s the closest we’re gonna have to a doctor” “Gah!” “Call Mackormick too” Said Craig “For some reason that freak also know about this stuff, I know for a matter of fact that he has a very well stocked aid pack”

…

“So that’s the reason why Craig was in so bad shape a couple of months ago?” asked Sally

“Yeah, but that’s not all, the part where I started to feel like I just wanna scream was when we all get to Tweek’s house”

“I heard you also screamed when one of those Raisins girls appeared in the alley to throw some garbage?” a general laugh was listened

“Don’t be a pain Heidi, Clyde can’t control himself with those whores, he almost let Craig fell when that bitch appeared, but that’s not what I’m talking , you see once we get there and Jimmy and Kenny (and Stan and Kyle) were parching those two…”

…

“S-S-So what happened to get you this blood-this blood-this bloody?”

“Tweek decided it was a good idea to jab in the face some idiot outside that stupid place, we were returning from Starks Pond those shitheads were rambling at that stupid place when they spot us”

“Stop sain’ that the place is stupid”

“Shut up Clyde, at least Craig knows better”

“Sorry baby…”

“They were high or something they started talking shit ‘bout us, and Tweek just punch one on the mouth”

“What?! I just didn’t _punched him_ he was insulting my mother! Calling us names AND he was about to grab you by your jacket”

“I was inside the place with some other guys when we heard all the commotion, when I get out Tweek and Craig were fighting like rabid dogs” said Token with amusement “one of those assholes was already kissin’ the dirt”

“Gah! I said I was sorry the ngh! The moment he hit the floor”

“I don’t think he heard you honey”

“Oh my god!” said tweek and pulled at his hair”

“Well as I was sayin’ some dark haired with tattoos idiot grabbed Tweek from his hair and punched him right in the eye, oh guys, you should have witnessed that! Craig got furious and jumped, literally tackled the guy to the floor and punched the shit outta him”

“And then the remaining guy took a brick and hit Craig on the head! Jesus Christ! He could have killed him! That-that-that son of a bitch!” shouted the blond and pull more of his hair”

“And then Tweek kicked him straight on the balls, guys, I swear his eyes roll into his head as he fell unconscious to the fucking ground”

“Ouch, that’s not nice Tweekers, the nuts are sacred”

“Kenny, don’t be such a mongrel”

“Ugh… boys”

“So, Tweek and I take Craig to the alley and look if he was ok, and see if we could stop the bleeding, that’s when I call you Clyde”

“It’s rare that people around here pick at you two guys”

“They were from North Park, Kyle”

“Well guys I think you should be starting to think ‘bout some people don’t be ok with you next year, you too” Token pointed at Stan, Kyle and Kenny “since kids from all Park County come to our high school”

“Well, I think they could spread the message Tweek and I imprinted on those cock suckers”

“Especially on the nuts of one of them”

“Kenny”

All the kids started to maraud the Tweak home so they left the boyfriends kind of alone on the couch, just Bebe was still looking at them. Craig caressed so softly with his bloddy knuckles Tweek’s black eye. The smaller teenager just closed his eyes and melted onto the gentle gesture “You were so amazing Tweek, to be true hadn’t you punch that stupid prick, I would have done it”

“I don’t know what I was doing, my body just moved on its own, I just got angry when he started calling you a fag”

“Yeah I know, but I don’t care, I stopped caring a long time ago for what people may think of me, I just care about what _you_ think” the boy moved a hand to his nape

“Actually… I didn’t hit him first ‘cause I didn’t wanted to freak you out” the blond smiled touched

“You’re so considerate Craig, I love you” murmured so low while place his forehead to the other one, it was low but still loud enough for Bebe to hear

“How about I take you to your favorite ice cream shop once all of this finish”

“I don’t know Craig, you could still have a mild concussion and I don’t want you to overdo it”

“I’m fine coffeebean, you could be the one with a golden jab but my head is very, very, hard”

“Yeah, that’s why your mother call you a hard-head” giggled the twitchy boy

“I love you too” responded Craig so soft and lovingly. There was a little silence after Bebe ended the story.

…

“Well, we already knew he was nice to Tweek, since fourth grade he was very protective and supportive”

“But why none of the other boys is like that, Wendy?

“Maybe ‘cause they are gay?” asked Annie

“Nah, Stan and Kyle are on the same boat and I’ve never seen neither of them be like that with each other”

“Was Stan like that when you were dating him, Wendy?” Asked Sally but regretted immediately at the look Wendy put on her pretty face. “Sorry, I know you don’t like to talk about that”

“Nah, it’s ok, I have to get over it one of this days, and it wasn’t a healthy relationship indeed. He was… Ok, I mean, he was nice, but I’m sure he’s more sweet with Kyle that was with me, nevertheless I’ve never saw him walking Kyle home, or holding hands every minute, or be so gentle and protector like Craig do”

“Tweek’s sweet to” Nichole intercede “and I’m not talking about baking for Craig or those things, I’m talking ‘bout things Token is always complaining, like that Tweek is always taking the blame for Craig impoliteness for people, or doing double homework or helping Craig with his chores”

“I know what you are talking about” agreed Jessie “I have a little brother, he’s the same age as Craig’s sister, I’ve saw many times how Tweek picks up Ruby, and when she asks why her brother wasn't there Tweek answer that he had a bad headache and needed some sleep, I’ve seen him brought her cookies and treats and make her laugh, seriously girls, my boyfriend looks at my little brother as if he is the worst of his nightmares, I thought Kenny was the perfect big bro but Tweek is not far behind, I once heard Ruby wishing for they to give her a niece for her birthday” ended Jessie rolling her eyes.

“I guess thinking it better, Tweek’s not bad too, I mean he’s not that tall but all that boxing has made him quite ok, and he has nice big green eyes” said Jessica “Whenever we’re at the book club I can see it, whenever he’s reading he stays calm and didn’t shake or anything, he has a very nice smile too, and has cute little freckles”

“Wow Jessica, that’s very specific”

“Well… Ok this stays between us, ok?  I did crush on him on fourth grade, I’m out of it now, but lemme tell you girls I prefer for a boyfriend a nice sweet boy that bake me a cookie than a cool bad boy that could kill with a look”

“I guess you are right, he’s sweet and I think he’s more chivalrous than Craig, I’ve seen him when working at the coffee shop, he’s nice and sometimes give you some of his baking for free and if he’s not busy he offers you to open the door ” “Awwwwww”

“That’s what I was talking about, look, Clyde is nice I KNOW, but sometimes I get jealous, of what they have, I never knew those could be so sweet, specially Craig” –said Bebe-

 “We have to face it girls, they are out of reach now”

“This is your fault Wendy” reproached Lola

“How is this my fault, I can’t control people’s sexuality”

“No, but you are the one along with those Asian girls that put them onto that situation, and to be honest I don’t think Craig is all gay, I’ve seen him checking out some of the cheerleaders”

“I never knew they will gonna end together! It was just some funny ship, and some cute art!”

“Well, the ENTIRE fucking town started to ship them, what did you think they were going to take it?” said Esther “Do you remember when they broke? All South Park gone into depression, I think they just went with the flow”

“Wait, Wait, Wait, are you implying that they are faking it or something?” –asked Jenny-

“Well…”

“That would be awesome! Then it means they could break if the correct girl appears –shouted Emily- “I want Tweek!”

“I want Craig!!!!!”

“Girls, Girls, don’t go nuts about this” –silenced Bebe- “I don’t think they’re faking it, as Annie have said I spend a lot of time with them and let me tell you that those kisses are not fake, are they Nichole?”

“I agree with you, you just have to take a look at the way Craig stares at Tweek, it’s like… like he’s contemplating the whole moon and stars on his face, look, I agree I’ve surprised Craig looking at girls, but it’s not the same he looks at Tweek, it’s what he likes vs what he loves”

“Rats, so it’ settled, those boys are off the menu”

“So that’s all? It’s not like they are married or anything, we could just wait till’ they broke, I mean, we’re starting high school, are they really get hooked up with their elementary sweetheart?” there was a sepulchral silence while each girl was lost on their own mind

“You know girls, I think there’s something we should do” –said Bebe and got up from her place-

…

  
“So, vacation it’s almost over Tweek, is there something you wanna do before we start high school?

“Oh god, I’m so nervous, there are gonna be so much new people, I’m not good at that”

“You know you’re capable of more than you think, honey” Tweek smiled at one of favorite Craig’s statements to him

“Yeah, I think so…” the smile faded

“Is there something the matter?”

“It’s just that I know in the end it’s gonna be fine, thanks to you it will be, but…”

“But?”

“I’m afraid you will just get tired of me, find some other one that amuse you or have less issues, or something”

“Tweek…”

“No! Listen to me!” Craig was about to protest but decided otherwise “I know right now you don’t think it’s a possibility, but think, when you broke with your last girlfriend, if someone had told you that you will be dating me next what would you’d said?” That made Craig open his eyes with realization “That’s what I mean, look, I know you love me, I do, but we don’t decide if tomorrow or the next year or in ten years things would change. That-That scares the shit outta me, man” Craig long sighed and took Tween on his arms.

“I could die tomorrow hit by a truck”

“What?! OH MY GOD NO! THAT’S TOO SOON TOO MUCH FUCKING PRESSURE!”

“It’s ok honey, don’t get scared of things that could or could never happen, I know you don’t like me to be logical with you, but, in this time I think I got to be” Tweek looked up “I adore you, that’s what I know, and I’ve never felt something like this, I see the way my Dad looks at my Mom sometimes and I know that it doesn’t matter if years come and go, he will always look at her that way, I think I look at you the same way, you just have to accept that some things just… are, and if by some weird up destiny move we get into a situation that someone wants to get between us, I have faith that we just have to remember the way I feel right now and the way I know I make you feel. I’m not saying that we are not gonna have problems, all couples do, but you just have to believe in us, to have faith that we belong together, you are my best friend man, we’re always gonna be together one way or another”

“Craig…” Tweek couldn’t be more red faced and it seemed he was about to cry “That-That’s not you being logical” The taller teen raised a brow in sign of confusion.

“I’m not?”

“No! That’s you being so fucking reassuring and romantic and I think… I think…I…”

“Oh for fucks sake! just kiss already!” shouted a voice not so far away. Both boys jumped out of each other arms and look to their side.

“Red! What the fuck are you doing there eavesdropping?”

The girls were standing there with tears on their eyes, Craig was looking furious flipping up them while Tweek was freaking out pulling at his golden hair.

“Look guys we didn’t want to interrupt you, but Craig started this cheesy speech so we couldn’t help ourselves, the thing is we want to give you guys some high school gift”

“A gift?”

“Well, is more like what we wish for the South Park boys, at least the straight ones, to be with us and you will be honored with a magic artifact that will guard our desire” Red put some origami triangle on Tweek’s hand like it was magical indeed, that gained a troubled expression from the small teen “We know you guys got in a lot of trouble to steal one of this from us back in fourth grade, I still don’t know how we never saw through that stupid dress you made poor Butters wear” Red stopped a moment to laugh remembering poor Marjorine crying in the bathroom “anyway, we know you know this is just a silly girl game, but we put there a list of things we expect for our boyfriends to accomplish, and since you are our standard, the _committee_ has engage you with the mission to be the keepers of that, oh! And remember that if by any chance you two decided to change sexuality again some of the girls, not me, would like to be put in consideration”

“What? Are you girls out of your minds?” asked Craig

“Just play along Craig” Red rolled her eyes “We’re at the end of our childhood here, and we just wanna think that put our dreams on paper and trust them to noble knights will make it all better before we crash face first into reality”

Both boys stared at the bunch of girls and after a couple of seconds Craig sighted and took the shaped paper from Tweek’s hand raised it on the air and give a nice smile to the girls, then put the thing out inside his bag.

Most of the girls giggled. “Thank you boys, high school is going to be shit, I know, but we have faith in our golden couple” then Red winked and started to walk away “We will be there if you wanna talk or something, we promise to don’t pass our cooties”

When the girls were gone Tweek felt more relaxed, he was never calm when a girl was near, they were too much pressure, especially Red who was sort of a ginger feminine version of his boyfriend “What was that Craig?”

“Seriously I don’t know, bitches in this town are crazy, that’s a plus ‘bout dating a guy, we’re simpler”

“Yeah, still it’s nice that we have support from friends like them, I think you’re right Craig, we just have to accept the things as they come and have faith, I think girls are smarter with this kind of things don’t you think?”

“Maybe, still, I think they come from other planet” The taller teen pull his boyfriend nearer with his arm and walked away talking about space and interstellar travels, the origami fortune teller long forgotten.

...

Some time in the future when young Mr. Tucker run by accident with the “artifact” and read number one statement “believe in each other love” scribbled with purple glitter pen, it will bring warmth to his heart, then he will put the thing and some other memories inside the box where they belong because if they don’t rush, they’re gonna be late for the party, he will pass his hand through his ever untamed golden hair and run downstairs to his lover and out of their home to meet with their long term friends. 

**Author's Note:**

> I will upload this on ff too under the same pen name and in spanish


End file.
